Should Christians kiss in a relationship?

Kissing, smooching, petting.

The stuff romantic relationships are made of. Or so we think.

It is believed that every little girl wants a prince who will give her a good night kiss, and the fairy tale is complete.

No one tells Cinderella wannabes that most guys are wired for sex, not romance.

While romance means cake, flowers, and chocolates for a girl; for a guy, it means sex. He might just get the opportunity to ‘tap that ass’ in ghetto slang.

From HBO to Netflix, to web series on youtube, all the movies and videos seem to tell the woman {Christian woman included} that we must be kissing our boyfriends to show love.

Thankfully, Biblical teaching does not agree with this.

Let us put to rest some of the grey areas in a Christian relationship. Kissing will get you in ur feelings faster than anything else.

Songs of Solomon 8:4

Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe – and you’re ready.

Many Christians get into relationships with people they are really attracted to, and subconsciously start looking forward to when the can start kissing, smooching, petting and other seeming privileges of being in relationships. All because that is what Hollywood has trained the female person to expect.

If care is not taken, an unassuming female will fall for the deception that premarital sex is unavoidable, and eventually, enter into marriage with a guilty conscience.

What is Christian courtship about?

Christian courtship is the time that a Christian man and woman spend together while getting to know one another. The goal being to determine if the will be compatible in marriage and for the purpose God has for them.

Courtship time is about glorifying God just like the rest of your life.

There most likely will be temptation. If you are conversant with the areas of our weakness, you would be prepared. Don’t let your flesh lead you.

James 1:14-15

God is impervious to evil and puts evil in no one’s way. The temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer. So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course.

Here’s something about kissing and lust. It does not hide.

Be certain that if you start kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage, everyone around you can feel the sexual tension/atmosphere around you and your significant other.

They can sense the lack of purity in the courtship. The goal is not to hide the fact that you are kissing/having premarital sex from others. You can’t.

The goal is to bear witness to Christ with your relationship. The goal is to glorify God through your relationship.

1 Thess. 5:22

Check out everything, and keep only what is good. Throw out anything tainted with evil.

Don’t ruin your witness for Christ.

1 Tim 4:12

And don’t let anyone put you down because you are young. Teach believers with your life: by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity.

Be an example in all you do. During your courtship season, God desires you to walk in purity. You have the grace to be an example to the world of how a believer goes through courtship.

Five things of note to always check when going through a Christian courtship are:

• Use wisdom:

Be wise about the time spent together. Find out the unique differences or similarities between one another. Become friends. Don’t wake up love before time. Kissing can do that.

• Desire holiness:

Be deliberate about pursuing holiness and honouring God through the process. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you walk in holiness. Be accountable with your time. If you have ever struggled with lust, don’t play with it by kissing and expecting your body not to respond.

• Be an example:

Determine to do the right thing even when you feel no one else is doing the right thing. If half the people you know tell you it does not matter and that no one actually does that, be grateful to be an example of what doing the right thing looks like.

• Pursue Marriage:

Be certain that the goal of the courtship is marriage. If it is sex on the part of one of the partners, there is no gain. Be on the same page.

• Protect those boundaries:

Create boundaries that keep you both out of your private spaces so that you are not tempted to sin. Protect your boundaries and your boundaries will protect you.

All the bible quotations in this article are from The Message translation unless otherwise indicated.